September Member of the Month, Hayli Nicole. Q & A with Laura Engel
LE: Congratulations Hayli! We would love to learn more about you. Please tell us a little bit about yourself. Have you always been a writer?
HN: Since elementary school, my teachers encouraged my writing above most everything else, though it took a near-death experience (pulmonary embolism) in 2012 for me to start fighting for dreams and identity as a writer.
Reclaiming my journey to writing started in 2013 sending postcards from my international travels. I also kept a journal for the first time in my life, jotting down stories and interactions that made me fall in love with solo travel. That quickly evolved into brain dumps on Facebook, telling short stories alongside images on Instagram, and eventually migrating to writing long-form articles on Medium.
It wasn’t until 2016 when I fully committed to being a writer. I established a consistent journaling practice that continues to this day. I wrote copy for websites and started writing personal travel narratives, landing a position as the editor for Pilgrim Magazine. The death of my best friend in 2018 (one of the first people who believed in me as a writer) catapult me into spoken word, publishing my first collection of poetry, and was the final push to finish the memoir he always believed I would write.
LE: How did you discover SDMWA?
HN: I was fortunate enough to take a Memoir class with Marni earlier this year. She invited everyone to join for the monthly SDMWA meeting afterward. I was a bit intimidated entering a space where everyone was so deeply connected but I was received with such warmth and support. It has been an absolute treasure getting to know everyone and being a member of the SDMWA community.
LE: Have you been taking writing classes/workshops and are you in any writing groups?
HN: The pandemic has been an incredible blessing in creating opportunities to learn online. I’ve taken more writing classes than at any other point in my life. Not only with a new availability of time, but an extensive availability of resources from organizations who were previously limited to in-person has allowed me to dabble in genres, be exposed to different teaching styles as well as develop my own intentions as a writing coach and facilitator.
LE: What kind of impact do you think writing groups and workshops have had on your own writing?
HN: Joining writing groups and attending workshops is one of my “wish I had done it sooner” realizations. Itwasn’t until I started finding creative communities that my writing leveled up, so to speak. There is something about hearing the work and stories of others that inspires my own. Not to mention, giving and receiving feedback is one of the most valuable tools available to writers if you want to grow in your craft.
LE: Hayli, are you writing a memoir? Tell us a little bit about it.
HN: I am! I’ve just started querying agents and am anxiously waiting to hear back from one of my dream agencies.
In September 2015, I dropped out of my last semester of college and sold my entertainment company to study orangutans in the rainforest of Sumatra. Coming from a family that never left San Diego, the decision to immerse myself in a country with the largest Muslim population challenged what little knowledge I had of the world and my conditioning to fear it. I was a foreigner navigating foreign lands, finding beauty in the common threads of our humanity despite the cultural and linguistic barriers that exist.
That is until I was drugged and raped outside of my guesthouse in Cambodia. I had no memory of what happened, but my body clearly remembered. At that moment, I became a foreigner in my skin. A motorbike named Isadore and a solo road trip stretching the entirety of Vietnam led to an unexpected alignment of humans and experiences that propelled me forward in my healing from sexual assault and allowed me to continue living full time as a solo female traveler.
LE: What are some of your favorite memoirs? Your favorite authors?
HN: I seem to favor travel memoir, though M Train and Just Kids by Patti Smith are standards on my bookshelves. The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen and Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I love Murakami and Vonnegut. Poets Buddy Wakefield, Rudy Francisco, and DesireeDellagiacomo.
LE: Any advice for new writers just starting out?
HN: I think my first bit of advice is don’t pigeonhole yourself into one genre or medium. Writing in genres you’re not comfortable in offers tremendous growth. And if it’s not your strength, use it as an opportunity to play! I am a memoirist, through and through, but I love creating fictional characters based on people I meet in my travels.
Find a writing community to immerse yourself in. If you can’t find one, create one. If this pandemic has proven anything, there are no limitations to what we do connecting in the virtual space. Even if it’s gathering two or three friends once a week, showing up is the bravest thing you can do.
I think the last advice I have is committing to being a writer is committing to a journey. One that spans through many years, stages, relationships, failures, and triumphs. You may or may not see immediate results from your efforts, but the most important thing you can do is show up in your craft and put in the hours to grow and improve.
LE: Thank you again Hayli for being the outstanding member you are at San Diego Memoir Writers Association. Your positive attitude and dedication to SDMWA is a shining example for all us!