Congratulations Laura L. Engel! SDMWA May 2022 Member of the Month
Below is the SDMWA interview with Laura:
LE: I think the biggest surprise in my writing journey has been how cathartic and empowering writing my memoir has been. If you had told me six years ago I would write and publish a memoir about the most difficult and traumatic time in my life, I would not have believed you. Now here I am six years later and this I know for sure, writing my story was one of the bravest and most healing things I have ever done.
LE: Great question. I remember as a new writer, I thought you simply wrote one draft and sent your book to a publisher and magically your book was published. After educating myself through workshops and research I quickly learned I was terribly naïve, and publishing was going to be another huge learning curve. Take the time to research traditional, indie, and hybrid publishing while writing your book so that when you are ready to publish, you have all the tools and knowledge you need to make the decision that is best for you.
LE: Oh, my. There have been days, sometimes weeks, that annoying little monkey brain (inner critic) was rampant. My insecurities suggested I should “just turn off the computer and stop trying to be a writer.” After all,“I had never written anything. Who would want to read my story?”
LE: Writing is difficult and lonely, especially when you are pouring your heart out on the page. We writers need each other. I was fortunate to experience incredible encouragementfrom Marni Freedman, Tracy Jones, Kelly DuMar, Jeniffer Thompson, my Read and Critique group, and so many wonderful writing friends at San Diego Memoir Writers Association and International Women Writers Guild. I guess in short, without the support and inspiration from a writing group it is very hard to hold yourself up all the time.
LE: Writing a memoir brings together your past – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Often timesfeelings you may have attempted to forget forever bubble up and paralyze you. There were days I wrote for hours as if in a type of trance. The outside present-day world seemed to dissolve, and I was back living in 1967, seeing faces I had forgotten, listening to the voices of long-ago family and friends, feeling the humid gulf coast breeze on my face, and burning once again with shame and guilt. Somedays tears streamed down my face as I wrote, other days I marveled at the energy and innocent optimism I had felt as a young woman. Writing for me was hypnotic and spiritual in the best sense.
LE: When I first began to think I could write my story, I had no idea where to begin. I had only tiptoed into telling my secret story a few months before I started thinking I should write about it. At that time, I planned to write down my memories for my eyes only. By experiencing some amazing synchronicities in my life I happened upon a class at Writers Ink with Kristen Fogel, which led to Marni Freedman’s Memoir 101. I was scared to death, as I had no idea what I was doing. In fact, I doubted myself so much after the first class, I almost dropped out. My husband convinced me to go the second class and from then on, I was hooked. Memoir 101 was a life changer. I learned how to craft my memoir, I learned I could and should write, and I learned I had met my tribe.
LE: Since a tiny girl I have always been a storyteller and people often told me I should write a book. I think my family was as surprised as I was when I became serious about writing a book. My husband has been my staunchest supporter and cheerleader, and I could not have done this without his amazing belief in me. I love when my adult sons tell me they are proud of me, and my non-writer friends cheer me on. I think everyone including myself have been surprised over the years as I worked tirelessly towards my goal of writing the best book I possibly could and carrying it all the way to the finish line.
LE: Great question. After finishing my book, I wondered if I could ever write again but now, I find myself often thinking of ideas and characters. I have great interest in monologues and play writing and I may pursue that avenue or fiction. Who knows, I’ve had so many chapters in my life, maybe another memoir? I do know that I will continue to always be involved in our fantastic writing community and I will always write even if it is simply for myself.
LE: So far, I have only experienced a few challenging encounters when speaking about my book in public. Occasionally people in the audience do not understand what closed adoption is or why it had taken decades for my son and me to find each other. I hope my book answers those questions.
In 2021 my first-born son took his own life soon after my book was on the way to publication. At that time, I questioned if I would be able to see my book through to the end. Fortunately, with time I gathered the strength to decide to go through with publishing my book. That strength came in part from the remarkable love and support I received from our amazing writing community. I can never thank all of you enough. That love sustained me.
The most rewarding encounters I have received have been the comments and reviews I have received from podcast listeners, audience members after readings after experiencing scenes from my memoir performed at San Diego Memoir Showcase events. There is nothing better than knowing your book or story has helped someone, that you have touched another human being, and that you have perhaps made a difference in someone’s life. For this I will always be grateful that I found the courage as an older wiser woman to give a voice to the 17-year-old girl who I was in 1967.
Learn more:
www.lauralengel.com
Order Laura’s Book from Warwick’s