Congratulations to our September 2022 IMWA Member of the Month Kyomi O’Connor!
Please read Janet Hafner’s interview with our September 2022 Member of the Month – Kyomi O’Connor!
JH: How did you first discover IMWA?
KO: First, thank you very much for this wonderful honor and opportunity for me to serve the SDMWA more in the future. I am so grateful to get to know you and work with you, Janet, Laura, Marni, Tracy, the board members, and all the members of this exquisite writers’ community.
In March 2021, after I became a part of the She Writes Press author group to publish my debut memoir, A Sky of Infinite Blue- A Japanese Immigrant’s Search for Home and Self, I had an opportunity to meet with Laura Engel, the president of the IMWA, to whom I explained about and became a participating IMWA member. Since then, I’ve tried to be as active a member as possible and I am very happy in this wonderful writers’ community- thank you!
JH: Have you always been a writer?
KO: Writing to me was always associated with my wish to be truthful.
In my teens and early twenties in Japan, I wrote lots of essays and poems as if I were talking to my best friend, or to my heart. Whenever I needed clarity in my life, I wrote. I always trusted writing and its power to see myself in light. But for several years before I left Japan in 1990, I stopped writing and avoided seeing my life in the light for a while. I had a deep wound inside me, and I had no choice but to allow myself to live in lies back then.
At the beginning of 2017, nine months after my husband of twenty-six and a half years, Patrick passed away, I began to realize that I was living in lies. I had a duality of life; with or without protective armor in my life as I’d done for most of my life in Japan. After his passing, I was handling the logistics of life very well and never cried in front of others. But at the same time at home, I often cried out loud alone from the profound loneliness and helplessness I’d felt.
That was the time I encountered a passage, “Let yourself be” written by the head of my Buddhist teaching. The moment of awakening further led me to stay vulnerable as I was, and I began to write. I fiercely wrote for many hours every day to express outbursts of my emotions, doubts, and questions in my mind. Of course, they were not part of the book but became the foundation of the book.
JH: What impact do you think writing classes have made on your writing?
KO: I have learned a lot from classes, courses, and workshops. All of them have provided different craft skills, techniques, and understanding. But the most important things that I have learned are to discover “readers” and to feel the presence of readers in the process of writing.
I was originally writing to myself, or perhaps to a close family member or a best friend. It was comfortable enough to tell stories without good quality and sensitivity. I didn’t have to dig down in my psychology about why I was feeling this or that because they would have understood it without deepening it.
But when I recognized the presence of “readers” clearly in my writing, I became not only a better storyteller but began to transform myself as a more grounded insightful person. I wanted to provide a better understanding of us as humans, and the stories behind our actions. I felt my writing was guided through the process of grounding together with the readers.
When the writing becomes the quality and sensitivity for readers to understand and to truly relate to their own stories, the writing and book are no longer mine, but become theirs. I would like to achieve that sensitivity.
JH: We’d love to hear about your next writing project.
KO: I have another memoir in progress; a love story of Mama and me. I began to think about this book in the middle of my grieving and the difficult time a few months after Patrick’s passing. I was, in fact, about to write the first book. I knew back then I wouldn’t be able to include much of it in the first book because my wounds were too deep.
I wrote some stories about Mama and me in the first book, but I knew the deepest grounding from the wounds would require more time to complete a book. Through more awakening moments, I’ve healed the wounds to the point I can convey totally different perspectives and light to my writing in a book. Now I am ready to write the second book.
Another new project is not in form yet, but I would also like to write a novel to honor a willful and powerful woman, who was born in the late 1930s to early 1940s in Ireland. I’ve had some ideas inspired by my late husband’s mother, who passed away in 1980.
JH: Who are your favorite authors? Favorite memoirs?
KO: I have so many favorite memoirs for different reasons, but I choose “Educated” by Tara Westover. The whole book is about her life and how she became educated and who she is. I loved her courage and the power she put on the pages. Writing her own truths with such literary excellence was extraordinary. Her book is about not only her successful story but us as a human. The powers of potential, hope, wish, and courage by any person can change the world. Her book has a powerful universal message for us all to take a path without fears.
JH: What advice can you offer new writers?
KO: What I know from my experience is that visualizing ourselves in a few years and ten years from now would help us shape our attitudes and actions around writing in the future. Of course, we don’t have to write a book if we are not interested in that. But if you want to write a book, mindset, planning, diligence, and resilience is required to establish a better writing habit and therefore, to help you complete a book.
Having a “good” coach and writing buddies may help us to see ourselves in a different light and get more support in this rather challenging work, writing. We are so fortunate to have great mentors, editors, and writing friends in the community. Our community of writers is ideal for that. 😉
So, enjoy the process, yet stay practical with all the decisions we would need to make on the path. I wish all of you good luck and enjoy writing!
JH: Kyomi, we are very excited about your memoir. Please tell us your plans on how you will market your book.
KO: My publication date is around the corner, on September 6th. My launch and signing event will be held at DIESEL in Del Mar on Saturday, September 10th at 3 pm. I would like everyone to join me!
Also, I’ll have another signing event at Barnes & Noble in Walnut Creek (near San Francisco) on Sunday, October 2nd between Noon and 3 pm. If you have friends or family there please ask them to join me!
JH: Please let us know how we can reach you. Website? Social channels?
KO: Please visit my Web page at https://kyomioconnor.com. My Webpage has so many aspects of my writing life. I’ve uploaded more than 135 pieces of essays and poems, most of which I’ve published on MEDIUM to date.
When you visit my Webpage, please subscribe to a monthly newsletter. You’ll enjoy its intimate and friendly content, and occasional celebrations on special editions a few times a year.
I am very active on Facebook (@kyomioconnor) and (@KyomiOconnorAuthor), Twitter (@KyomiOconnor), Instagram (@memoir_writer2) and LinkedIn (@kyomiOconnor). I would appreciate meeting you on these social channels too!
Thank you very much, Janet, and everyone for this heartfelt interview!!
I hope to see you at the Launch & Signing event on September 10 at 3 pm at DIESEL!
Order your copy of Kyomi’s book A Sky of Infinite Blue: A Japanese Immigrant’s Search for Home and Self
https://www.warwicks.com/book/9781647422271